I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
