accomplished twins. life is a go
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I will be naked everywhere
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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