He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
