I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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