Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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