I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
