I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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