I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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