remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
