my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
