Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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