Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
