I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
