You smell like a Billy Joel song
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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