I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
