My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
