Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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