I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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