I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
