im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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