No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
