sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
