I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I know her cup size but not her name....
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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