hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
