I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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