is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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