he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I can't turn off my feet"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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