I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
