You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
