Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
50% drunk capacity currently
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
