i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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