Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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