Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize