there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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