Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
