I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
