I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
In America we eat man semen.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
