tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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