Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I have grass duct taped all over my body
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
