I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize