dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
