Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
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