Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
