You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
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You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
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My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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