I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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