1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize