if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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