just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
