bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize