morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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