So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
