He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
