He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
