burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
