AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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