Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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