Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
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I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
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The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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