I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
