There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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